4 Reasons living abroad isn’t always so great

This article is in response to this article about living abroad, “4 Ways Living Abroad Changes You… Forever”, which celebrates the great things living abroad can do for you, and honestly, all I could think of was that I was expecting it to do all these things for me, and it didn’t quite cut it.

It’s funny because, as is clear from the title of this blog and from anyone that knows me, traveling has been what I wanted to do for a long time. I wanted to pack up and travel or even move somewhere else in the world ever since I was a little kid. Ever since my dad took a business trip to Belgium when I was in elementary school, maybe even before then, I wanted to go and explore. And finally, I did. I went to Mexico on a couple service trips. I went to Barcelona to study abroad. And it was wonderful. And I had terrible reverse culture shock when I came back. Everything for me had been new and exciting, and when I came back everything was boring and the same.

That reverse culture shock is how I ended up here in the Czech Republic. I couldn’t stay away from Europe. I wanted to travel, live abroad, learn about a new culture and language, and teach English, so here I am. And of course it was exciting at first. Even now, sometimes I look around me and am just struck by how amazing it is to be living in a place far away from home with so much beauty and mystery. But other times, I think I’ve learned my lesson: when you want something so bad all your life and you get it, it’s not all you’d hoped it would be. Nothing can be as perfect as you can dream it to be, especially when you have an imaginative and optimistic mind.

Without further ado, here’s my list of 4 reasons why living abroad isn’t always sunshine and rainbows:

You feel like an idiot about a hundred times a day.
It’s more than just the language barrier, although that certainly makes it so much worse. Even the smallest requests from passersby or shop assistants or restaurant workers are usually impossible to understand. But even aside from that, you’re entering a place where everyone else has grown up learning the unspoken social rules and already know how to do everything they need to, what the best and worst toiletries and food items are, and where to buy exactly what they need. As a foreigner, you know none of that. So it’s usually trial and error and frustration. If you try to ask a local for help, if they by some chance can communicate with you, they think you’re stupid for not knowing something that seems obvious to them. Of course there are expat websites for these questions, but it seems like I have more questions than I’d ever have time to find answers for. And at the end of the day, I just have to put up with the fact that here I’m the stupid foreigner who doesn’t know how to redeem my glass bottles or pick up my mail or buy medicine or send a money order or (insert mundane, seemingly obvious task here).

You miss out on important events from your friends at home.
I’m in my twenties, which means every season is wedding season for my friends and family. People are getting married and having kids left and right, my adorable nieces are walking and talking and growing older every day, people are graduating and celebrating and continuing with their lives, all without me. I knew this would be the cost of moving away, but some days I just wish that I could be home to show the people I love how much I care about them by celebrating with them, not just skyping after or before the fact.

Short trips are a pain when you don’t have a car.
I wanted to go to Europe because there are so many interesting places so close to each other. Drive a couple hours from Prague and you could be in Germany or Poland or Austria or Slovakia, and increase that to 5-10 hours, and you could see almost anywhere in Europe. But the problem is that without a car, you’re limited to places with public transportation. Which means you have to plan a bus or a train or some other form of transport, plan how to get from the station to the tourist attractions, and walk a lot and most likely get lost. That means picking up and going somewhere for a weekend trip is actually a big ordeal, requiring a lot of planning that we don’t usually have the time or energy to do. So, in my 8 months here, I’ve been on very few trips and seen very little other than Prague, even though those places to see are just beyond the horizon, teasing me with how close but how far they are.

Minor inconveniences aren’t worth fixing.
If you know you’re only living abroad for a couple years or less, it doesn’t seem worth it to spend money improving your quality of life. Buying a couch or a TV or a more comfortable mattress, or anything else that could make life just a bit nicer, is too expensive and too big to pack up in that suitcase to go back home, and it’s such a hassle to sell it all before you leave. You end up spending a lot of time trying to convince yourself “It’s only a few more months, it’s not a big deal”, and longing for days when you can finally settle down and have a more permanent existence.

As an optimist, I hate to leave this article on such a negative note. Living abroad has challenged me in wonderful ways, caused me to learn so much about myself, and left me with countless unforgettable memories and experiences. But as I remember how excited I was during the days and months leading up to my trip and compare those emotions with how I feel now, there’s a bit of a disconnect, and I think it’s important to acknowledge that. It isn’t easy, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth it in the end.

So what about you? What do you hate or love about living abroad?